The Bridge Back to Others and, Ultimately, Yourself: Connection + Belonging

Why It Matters

In spring 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released a report naming loneliness as a public health epidemic. And, even though Americans found themselves growing lonelier during the COVID-19 pandemic, almost half of adult Americans were already feeling the effects of loneliness in their lives. Research shows that lacking strong social connections has about the same impact on mortality as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. So, basically, both can kill you. Connection isn't just "nice to have" - it's vital for our health, well-being, and JOY.

Our Definition

At addJOY, we define Connection + Belonging as feeling at home with people and places that see you, hear you, and hold space for you. It is a relationship with people and things that make you feel linked to them as a member of a larger community.

My Story

A few years ago I decided to head out to a little Brazilian taco dive on a Wednesday night. I had been hearing that this place had nice vibes, good music curated by three talented deejays, excellent tacos (I could have gone there for that alone), and a gathering of good people. While this sounds lovely, I was terrified. I knew a few people there, but not many and - at the time - it felt paralyzing to enter a space where everyone else knew one another and try to insert myself into their fun. Laughter bubbled in clusters, hugs and inside jokes floated around, but I stood still - smiling politely, yet feeling a bit invisible. I slowly started to realize that belonging isn't just about being in the room. It's about feeling of the room.

The first few times I went, I stood around awkwardly making small talk. But I found that, the more I introduced myself to one new person at a time, the more I moved from outsider to community member and the weight of the loneliness lifted. Now here I am, three years later, with a whole "Bu-tang" crew and people who expect my presence every Wednesday night. In fact, they call me out if I don't attend. When your presence is celebrated and not simply tolerated, you know you truly belong. But that couldn't have happened without my own willingness to make the first steps.

That experience taught me that Connection + Belonging often begin with vulnerability - the courage to reach out when it feels easier to stay on the sidelines.

Your Call-to-JOY

Want to begin strengthening your own sense of Connection + Belonging? Try our JOY Formula worksheet, a guided reflection that helps you explore your relationship with yourself and others. Take that first step toward building the bridge back to each other.